Welcome back to my blog. Thank you for visiting. We are discussing tares in the church, those who act somewhat like believers but who really are not (Matthew 13:24–30). Last week we discussed their definition existence and to what extent they might exist in the body of Christ. Today let us examine how potentially we can recognize tares and how we might bring them to saving faith.
Helping tares
For the church to function productively, and for individual Christians to attain the greatest benefit from body life, the effect of tares and other unbiblical agendas should be limited. How to do this?
How to recognize a tare?
Again, this is difficult. Importantly, it may be someone close to you: your friends, your family or perhaps even someone on the church staff. On close inspection, a tare would demonstrate speech and actions consistent with others in the church but typically not be able to demonstrate much knowledge of scripture or express their salvation only by grace as described in the Bible. Further, you are unlikely to observe spiritual growth over time.
Below are potential characteristics of a tare. Although we all probably struggle with these issues from time to time, for the tare it persistently would characterize their whole life.
What they may say?
· Self-focused – They typically talk about themselves usually expressing self-aggrandizement, their opinions, needs, and desires, as well as jealousy, criticism and lack of gratitude.
· They speak generally church ‘jargon’- It is like learning just enough Spanish to get by in Mexico City: it may sound good on first hearing, but you sure do not want to get into any detailed conversation. Tares will learn just enough church jargon, which is easier than learning scripture, to fit in socially. They do not know much real scripture, especially contextually.
o What is church ‘jargon’? It may possess a grain of truth and sound good, but generally teaches lies about God and cannot be found in Scripture such as: ‘I was called to do this or that (calling in the epistles is to salvation)’; ‘God has one chosen person for me to marry’; ‘God will open a door’; ‘I’m in the place where God wants me’; ‘I don’t have a peace about this (so I will not do it)’; or ‘Everything happens for a reason.’
· Victims – They may feel they are treated unfairly. Most usually their expectations for the church, its leadership and their fellow members are not met, leading often to bitterness and criticism.
What they know?
They do not know much!
· Scriptural knowledge – Tares usually are familiar with a few individual verses that they learned in high school or college and fill in the rest with whatever legalistic system is pushed by their domination, church, or the youth group where they first learned Christianity. This makes for a person who may be inflexible on spiritual matters and does not know or enjoy the freedom offered by Scripture and living by faith.
· They know they are right – Not knowing Scripture and clinging to a legalistic system does not provide a tare with a strong basis to make spiritual decisions or handle change. When confronted with scripture they doggedly dig in and hold to the system of Christianity they learned in their youth (e.g., ‘this is the Baptist Church, we immerse here’). This may cause the tare to become defensive, and cling to their stance despite biblical evidence to the contrary.
· Salvation by what? – If you simply ask them ‘what gives you the right to enter heaven when you die?’ they cannot give you a coherent or correct answer, but they hesitantly may give you a long, circuitous and confabulated explanation.
What they do?
What they practice is simple, ‘pseudo’- Christianity.
· Christian practice – They may show for church but rarely practice on their own the five tools to maturity (prayer, praise, teaching, Bible study and Bible based fellowship) outside of church. They do not exhibit obvious spiritual growth. They are more comfortable with non-spiritual (but often needed) church service activities such as keeping nursery, arranging social functions, or building facility issues.
· Comfort – They typically desire a secure, churched-based earthly existence within social Christianity.
· Teaching and evangelism – These are not parts of Christianity with which they are comfortable, perhaps they say it’s not their ‘gift’. If they do teach at all it is typically from prepared material from a book or video
o In contrast, a true believer, even if young, over time will start to speak and do the things of God in a loving but truthful manner. They will grow to love His Word.
So how do you share the Gospel with a tare?
How then can we bring the dear unbelieving tares to a point that they are willing to evaluate their own salvation in an objective way?
· Good question! We don’t yet know from research how to best approach them. The process may be difficult because for a tare to admit they are not actually a Christian may destroy their personal identity in which they have viewed themselves for years as important vital member of their church community. Consequently, we must adhere to scripture where God reminds us to bring the gospel to all people.
· Key point: Try to gently place a tare in a situation where they are able to recognize salvation by grace but not have to admit they did not actually previously know it. This will save the probable resistance from injuring their social Christian self-identity. All you are interested in is that the tare believe that they are indeed saved only by faith.
· The method will likely differ per the individual. Below we cautiously present some suggestions about how to share your faith with an adult tare, realizing the difficulty at hand.
o Friends – The first step is to befriend your potentially unbelieving colleague or increase the depth of your relationship. Ask them peripheral questions over issues related to Christianity and the church, for example: likes and dislikes about their church such as the preaching, choir, Sunday school, leadership, etc. Then listen! People love to talk about themselves and their opinions.
§ Listening is vital because it shows your respect and acceptance of the person. Further, it allows you to assess their scriptural needs as you learn about them. Every individual is important. After you listen for a while, follow up with more specific questions, eliciting more detail.
o Advance the depth of questions – Ultimately, when they trust you then you can progress the conversation to what they believe about Christ specifically, who He is, why He came, favorite Scripture about Christ, or what they thought about what the pastor said about Christ in a sermon.
§ These questions should be asked in a conversational, non-threatening manner. Again, just mostly listen! These types of questions will teach you more about your friend and especially help you assess if they understand the nature of salvation through Christ.
o Advance the conversation to the gospel – At some point you need specifically to express the gospel to your potential tare (Romans 10:9-10; Ephesians 2:8-9). How to do this? Well, this task is a 100X easier after you have shown your respect and affection by building the relationship and listening to them. Every person is different. Here are some ideas:
§ Open-ended questions – Should the preparation class for elders ask the attendees to state how to express the Gospel, what would you want them to say? An alternative, ask the tare ‘if your friend asked you how to be saved, what would you tell them?’
o Bible study – A tare rarely will mention doing a Bible study themselves, you will need to propose to them directly a study based on the needs they express when you are listing to them.
§ For example, if they have mentioned in prior conversations, they do not know much Scripture then propose a verse by verse study in one of the great epistles, Colossians or Ephesians. A Bible study is a great tool as it brings your friend and you to a neutral ground where they can observe the gospel themselves.
§ Ask them during the study, at an appropriate verse, what they believe is important in expressing the gospel to someone. They will need to learn it with your teaching, probably over several Bible study sessions.
o A Bible study has the advantage in that you can discuss the gospel and who Christ is from scripture itself. Studying the Bible is more of a neutral arena that may allow your friend to perceive for themselves the grace to salvation.
o Once your friend knows the gospel, generally do not indicate they just became a Christian as this may cause ill-feeling, but just be joyful that they express their belief confidently unto salvation and can tell someone else. If you think they may not believe what they say, then ask directly if they believe the plan of salvation to hopefully address any questions or doubts.
o St. Peter’s question – If all else fails, describe a scenario in which one day your friend stands before St. Peter and he asks, ‘What gives you the right to enter heaven?’ or ‘Why should I let you in here?’ This question cuts to the fundamental basis of a person’s true faith. They must express exactly what qualifies them for heaven. Try this question with even long-standing church believers and you will get amazing answers.
How do you deal with unrepentant tares?
Limit their negative effects:
· Limiting social and fellowship time with them.
· Refraining from giving them even non-spiritual leadership positions from which they might negatively influence the church.
· Consider corrective biblical action (by the church leaders) if the tare is clearly disruptive to body life (e.g., Matthew 18:15-20, 2 Corinthians 2:5-11).
· Discontinue counselling or other emotional support services if they are unwilling to change and so are wasting the time and emotions of church staff, lay leaders or kind individuals in the congregation.
The health of the modern church is vital! Each member ideally should be a functioning, growing Christian who serves and facilitates fruitful and positive teaching, outreach, praise, prayer and fellowship. Don’t allow the agenda of a limited few, who refuse to come to faith in Christ or be obedient scripture to diminish the progress of Christ’s church!
Have mercy on your friends and your family! Consider carefully if they truly understand their salvation which is so carefully laid out in scripture.
Read more at https://teleiosresearch.com/tares-an-important-subset-of-unbelievers/.
William C. Stewart, MD
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